Adjusting

Matt got a new job, which is incredible.  I know it has taken some of the financial weight off of his shoulders.  He is out of the house for twelve hours a day, back to working five days a week.

It has certainly been an adjustment for the both of us.

His previous employer was wonderful in letting him take time off to help me out if I needed it.  He was working part-time and only four days a week.  This enabled him to be with me for almost all of my appointments, he was home by 3:30 or 4:00 p.m. every day.

We were able to spend a lot of time together.  He could check his phone regularly, so he would know when I was falling at home.  Now sometimes it’s hours before we can talk for him to know I fell and hurt my knee, elbow, hand, ankle… or all of the above.  One day I missed the last stair and landed on my back – had the air knocked out of me.  As I laid there, gasping for air, I had a profound moment of fear.  I knew I wasn’t dying, but I had the thought, I could fall, crack my head open, and bleed out.  No one would have a clue.

A couple of weeks ago he mentioned how proud he was of me for making this adjustment so well.  Of course, it brought me immediately to tears.  He is so thoughtful.  I know he worries about me.  All of our partners/spouses/caregivers worry about us when they aren’t home.

Somehow we get used to falling over, bruises all over – we forget how those who understand us worry.

We all have to adjust, sometimes daily.  No two days are ever the same for me, even to many they would look pretty similar.

MW

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