Regrets…

Everyone says they want to live with no regrets. It’s a noble thought, and despite how poetic it sounds I struggle to really believe that there is anyone who lives with absolutely no regrets. No matter how big or small, there are always things that we would do over if we had the chance, or things that we did which put us on a different course for our lives that we wish we could alter. I don’t think there is any harm in that… we are human. It is the human condition to change our minds, we should never set ourselves on one path. Regrets are part of growing, learning. Without regrets, would we be human? I have been asked if I regret a lot of things in my life. Some ex-partners who shall not be named, things I have said or done to people, choices I have made about work or school. Absolutely I have made choices I regret, especially about people I have chosen to rent space in my head and my heart. I have recently been asked if I regret doing this surgery. For once I can say with certainty that this choice is not one I will regret.

Just because things are extremely difficult right now doesn’t mean they always will be. Matt and I talked a lot about the risks of surgery and decided that short term risks of doing the surgery highly outweigh the long term risks of not having the surgery. There are always options I have consider if this surgery doesn’t work the way we planned. Since 2006 I have struggled with the thought of being deaf. The surgery I had performed has been found to maintain hearing, rather than harm it, however as I age I have the chance to lose my hearing faster than people with healthy ears. I love music, I love hearing the birds, hearing Matt sing in the shower when he thinks I am not listening, I want to hear ”I do” at my wedding and hear my kids call me mom, but to never feel this way again I would give it all up and hope to never regret making those decisions, but if I did regret them I would know that I am allowed to do that!

Don’t be afraid to regret things in your life. If my Meniere’s has taught me anything it is live, don’t sit around and wait for life to come to you. I did that for many years and once I am healed I am never going to sit at the sidelines again, I will never fold again. Grab life by the balls and make decisions you are going to regret. We are HUMAN.

Grocery Store

I am happy to announce that I made a successful journey to the grocery store today! The car ride seriously sucked, but once I made it to the store I did alright – I even selected some items from the shelves! I couldn’t carry out any groceries with my weight restrictions and one hand using my cane for extra balance! But hey, I ventured out of the house and didn’t completely fall apart. I am tired from my excursion but wanted to add a few posts before the weekend.